Part 4 of M.E. Anders interview with a cult survivor. Click HERE to read.
Tag Archives: WTF?
Religious Cult Survivor and Critical Thinking: Part 3, by M.E. Anders
Part 3 of an ongoing series by M.E. Anders. Enjoy!
Cult post from M.E. Anders (Part 2)
Click here to read part 2 of M.E. Anders post on a cult survivor’s experience.
The Last Supper Redux by The Godless Monster
If you’d like a higher resolution image (2.04MB) for your desktop, drop me a line.
Cult post from M.E. Anders
Click HERE to read the first part of a tale of cult survival from a fellow Michigander.
So…where the fuck was “God”?
In reading about the account of an autistic boy who went missing (and was found 6 days later) in Virgina, I came across this little gem of a quote from Hanover County Sheriff David Hines:
There were sometimes that you just had to reach down and find that faith that you were going to find him. Whether it’s appropriate or not for everyone, there is a God. He listens to prayers, and prayers were answered,” he said.
Nice. What eats the lining out of my stomach is that time and again, reporters let people get away with this without offering the slightest challenge. If someone makes an “on the record” comment to a reporter, that comment is fair game to be scrutinized and questioned. Isn’t that what is supposed to happen? Isn’t that what reporters are supposed to do?
When the circumstances were such that the boy could have been lost, where was the miraculous intervention to prevent it from happening in the first place? Where the fuck was “God” THEN?! Taking a nap? Getting laid? Playing poker?
Toys from the depths of hell…
The whole ban on unicorn dolls seems a bit asinine as unicorns are in the Bible.
Attack of the Zombie Jesus Freaks
From The Naked Pastor. Click the image below to link directly to the original post on his site.
A form response???
I’m beginning to think I need to start developing a formulaic response to some of the typical meandering bullshit that theists tend to write in defense of this or that boogaboo belief or assclown legislative effort. I’m a lazy ass, so I’ve lifted a scene from Billy Madison and altered it a bit to fit the occasion.
What you’ve just written is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may the Flying Spaghetti Monster bitch-slap you with his turgid appendage.
Fuck it. It’s not like they’re going to listen to reason anyway. May as well have some fun.
My favorite Michele Bachmann photo to date
Looks like she got a few tips from her closeted hubby. And look at that guys face in the lower left of the photo. Fucking priceless!!!
Courtesy of The Telegraph. Click on the photo to read the article.
A singing puppet Jesus? Oh yeah, we got a singing puppet Jesus…
YouTube atheist TruthSurge hits another one out of the park with the clever “My Least Favorite Things”.
Video: Behind Crude Lies
Creatard Nephilimfree
The video I’ve posted below one of the more hilarious YouTube videos to have sprung from the never-ending evolution vs. creation battle.
For those who don’t recognize who is being spoofed…look at the photo above, click on it and check out his channel. It’s Nephilimfree, a young earth creationist who is known for his outrageous lies, bizarre behavior, litigious posturing and overall asshattery.
Courtesy of TruthSurge
Sometimes you feel like a nut….
I just read an article on MSNBC.com about some schmuck named Wilson from Montana who faces heavy-duty prison time for “stealing” a house in foreclosure and claiming (in paperwork filed with the county clerk’s office) that he purchased the property from Yahweh.
While the story itself isn’t so remarkable, the last portion of the article got me to thinking:
“…Many of the journal entries appear to be addressed to “the creator, Yahweh.”
“Wow. You surely have blessed me with some wonderful opportunities,” Lenz read from the journals, which referred to a property with a “million-dollar value” that “seems to be waiting for me to claim it. Wow on wow.”
Wilson refused attempts by District Judge Kim Christopher to appoint legal counsel for him. He didn’t participate in his trial and offered no defense. He read from an IRS document Monday and was reading the Bible during Tuesday’s court session.
Authorities have said they believe Wilson tried to claim ownership of at least two more houses, one he was living in and one he was renting out, but he has not been charged in those cases.
A court-ordered mental health evaluation found Wilson fit to stand trial.”
What a minute. Let’s read that last sentence again.
“A court-ordered mental health evaluation found Wilson fit to stand trial.”
WTF???
Now, there’s a lot of us in the atheist blogosphere (myself included) bitching about the ever-present and pervasive religious (especially Christian) privilege in the United States. It seems religious privilege can be a double-edged blade, however – at least for poor Mr. Wilson.
For example, if Mr. Wilson had claimed that he had purchased the homes from The Cat in the Hat, how likely is it that mental health professionals would have found him fit to stand trial? Yes, yes, yes, I know, they would have to demonstrate that he didn’t know that what he was doing was wrong, but still…do you really think he would have been convicted by a jury of his peers? I highly doubt it.
Apparently the thought that Mr. Wilson was engaged in a business transaction with an imaginary being seems to have never crossed the minds of the mental health “professionals”.
The best they could do is claim that Mr. Wilson lied about making a real estate transaction with God. The fact that the entity that he claims to have entered into a contract with is non-existent was not only irrelevant; it was taboo to discuss it.
Finding Mr. Wilson to be insane would have been tantamount to denying Yahweh’s existence.
Makes you wonder who the real nuts are.
Islamic Pooping 101 aka Dumping for Dhimmis
At some point, whoever was in charge of the Islamic studies curriculum at our mosque had to have said, “We’ll save all the really crazy shit for the teen class.”
Oh to be sure there was all kinds of goofiness being taught to us prior to our teen years, but that wasn’t really any different (or any more entertaining) than what I had learned in Catholic school or catechism. The creation story, the great flood, etc., etc. With the exception of the story of the Prophet, it was the same stuff, with a slightly different take on a few things.
But once I became a teen…that’s when things REALLY got interesting. I’m not referring to the classes my Dad taught. Don’t ask an engineer to explain the Quran or the Hadith and expect it to be exciting. It’s not.
But Mr. A was a different story. When he taught Islamic classes, the air was electrified as if someone had stuck a massive Tesla coil up his ass and thrown the switch. The guy had a perpetual grin and would bounce around in front the chalkboard like an oversized Syrian flea.
I was excited, too. Not so much that I was interested in learning about Islam (I wasn’t); it was that whatever he had to say was bound to be so outlandishly bizarre that it would be everything I could do to keep from peeing my pants with laughter. Several of us, including me and one of my sisters rarely passed up a chance to make a comment or ask a question that would encourage him to go even further with his idiocy. As he was usually clueless as to our real motivations he would respond to our queries with more fantastic bullshit. The comic effect of it all was intensified tenfold by his incredibly thick accent and hilarious gesticulations. For a bored younger teen, it was the perfect storm.
One of the more memorable courses he taught was on ablution and general cleanliness. For those searching for humor in the otherwise horrific and blood-drenched “Religion of Peace”, this area of study is a veritable fucking goldmine.
From this course, my all-time favorite topic was the subject of elimination, specifically…defecation. That something as basic as how to take a dump would be described and dictated to Muslims was absolutely hilarious, especially to kids that were raised in the West. Out of the myriad problems out there in the vast, expansive universe, Allah was so concerned with how we took a crap that he handed down specific instructions on how to do it. I asked Mr. A how this information he would be sharing with us was pertinent to people living today. Mr. A responded by telling us it was relevant in that there was a possibility we might be in the desert someday and would need guidance on what to do. I responded with a “Sure, why not?” or something to that effect and then…the assault on our intelligence (and funny-bones) began:
- You can’t have your ass or your crotch pointing towards the Kaaba (in Mecca) during elimination.
- You can’t use your right hand to wipe.
- You can’t use an even number of stones to wipe (yeah, you read that right – stones), but an odd number is okay, with three stones being optimal.
- Animal dung and animal bones are verboten. Why? Because according to the Prophet, those are what jinn (spirits) use for food and you don’t want to be pissing them off by smearing poop on their lunch.
- Sand or “dust” is an acceptable substitute for water to cleanse oneself after a particularly messy dump.
Oh, there was more…lot’s more, but you get the point. Throughout the lecture, I was leaning forward, moaning and making wiping gestures with imaginary sticks, bones, chalkboard erasers and rocks, all while impersonating Mr. A’s heavy Syrian accent. My sister was laughing so hard she was in tears and eventually did, in fact, pee herself.
I raised my hand, “One more question, Mr. A.”
Mr. A: “Yes?”
Me: “Bones are bad for wiping my butt after pooping, right?”
Mr. A: “That’s right!”
Me: “But stones are okay to wipe my butt after pooping, right?”
Mr. A: “That’s correct!”
Me: “What about fossils?”
Mr. A: “Class is finished for today. All done!”
Party pooper…
A prayer I can live with!
In Ask Axe Cop, a reader asks him if he ever prays.
Pants pissing hilarious.
Remember, this is written by a little kid; it’s only illustrated by an adult.
Here’s another post of mine on Axe Cop.
Catastrophism for Dummies
If you are 40-something or older, you may from time-to-time receive one of those generic saccharine emails from well-intentioned friends or family members that drone on for 500 or so words about how great things were when we were growing up.
If you are not familiar with what I’m referring to, here is an example:
“We did not have Play Stations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were
no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
no video movies or DVDs,
no surround-sound or CDs,
no cell phones,
no personal computers,
no Internet and no chat rooms.”
And so on and so forth, ad nauseam…
The sender of this screed (a former coworker) implores me to at least read the quote from Jay Leno at the bottom of the email should I choose to ignore the rest of it. Here’s that little gem of wisdom:
“With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”
What eats the lining out of my stomach is that the sender (or Leno, it would appear) didn’t stop to think that if “God” had been doing his job as Leno seems to define it, why did we have to deal with all of these issues in the first place?
But there’s an even bigger issue with that quote. Leno never said it. What he really said on September 20th, 2005 was this,
“As you know, Hurricane Rita is headed toward Florida, Texas and Louisiana. Another hurricane! It’s like the ninth hurricane this season. Maybe this is not a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance.”
Huge difference. There’s at least two things one can walk away for this with. First, this is one of many undeniable proofs of the religious nutbag predilection for twisting facts and quoting out of context in order to make a point. Second is that there will never be a shortage of gullible folks who will accept (and pass on) things without questioning them, as long as they neatly fit their own preconceived notions of how things should be.
This is just more ammunition for my argument as to why we need to start teaching critical thinking skills and ethics at a young age in public schools.
The email ended with this:
“For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us…go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us…..pass this on.”
After copying it to a Word document, I went back to the email and hit “Delete”.
